April 29, 2018
In the emotional spaces of the heart, certain people take up too much room. Nothing against them though, it's just how certain people are, slightly 'emotionally' fatter than the rest of us, slightly more loving, slightly more dominating, slightly more overwhelming, slightly more stupid than the rest of us. Unlike the wallflowers who let you breathe and observe you from a distance, they fill up your life with their presence. There are big gestures and little ones, are all about you. They cling to you emotionally and have a deep attachment to you. It's all love, I swear!
I know this because I take up a whole lot of room too. There is deep attachment, there is thought, thoughtfulness and there is an opinion on everything you do. And there is a need for your attention, your validation, your constant reinforcement to the fact that you're still around; and you just sit and wonder are they getting greedy( ?).
It's all great if you're riding on the same wave, but if you're not there, you'll drown babe. Then this room becomes too much to keep, there is hardly any room left to breathe. You take a step back and this presence starts to smother you like a dark cloud. Like neighbours once welcome, who now have become too loud, the quiet steps overhead are replaced by screeching sounds. You're now starting to feel a bit too nosey. You stop to focus on anything they say, or do or feel; because you're constantly pained by how much room they take, on the seat and in your life, and it starts to feel like there is no room for anything/anyone else. You're tired of checking again and again whether what you're doing is in order with how they feel about it and that is exhausting. Ughh...this is a mess and thats why you feel the need to leave. The size of their love, too overbearing and borne for too long. Leave fast and leave far, till I make more room for you to keep and you shrivel up a bit thinking where could it have possibly gone wrong.