"You're a big romantic", C would say, "and that's wht your problem is". I'd dismiss this statement but often return & evaluate. Romanticism plays a big role in my life. Sure,I become obsessed w/ my ideas as I toy w/ them — An idea to move out to experience new flavors & travel the world, an idea of never being afraid of challenges, to be a person of depth, and intellect. An idea to love & marry on my own terms, to never be boring, or indispensable.
Anyway, so C thought this's a big problem. I understand why he might think that way. When I'm in the middle of being obsessed, I usually tend to think, "hey, this is the best thing in the world!”. From this new coffee I discovered which has made its way to be a part of my daily life, the new job I got, almost all the friends I made, and the lovers I had. Stressing more on my relationship with people— I always felt strongly that everyone I've met has been the coolest person I will ever meet, and I can’t let that go. But, when this newness wears off, I do see them all in their entirety of being, every one a regular human, flawed and amazing in their own ways. The idea normalizes and becomes a part of life.
My therapist told me to learn to compartmentalize. "Don't make your ideas your life" I struggle with this coz how is everything supposed to find its way and fit in that compartment of the mind?
We're only given limited amount of enthusiasm before we give up. If I weren't a bit romantic about the future, the what it will be, I am never going to put it first over all the other things I am doing. "Sorry serendipity, you came and texted me in my lunch hour, where I'm swamped with work & amidst doom-scrolling, but I've scheduled you for 6pm when I am available fr drinks".
Romanticism is imp, from the daily coffee run where I tell myself— “may not be the best coffee in the world, but it makes my day” to my bff calling me in my stress hour where— “Its probably not the best time rn bt I love this person so much, that I don't mind shuffling my calendar”, to the bigger ones — "Life is so wholesome right now, but imagine living THAT pipe dream".
Cynics have it wrong, & therapists are only giving you safety nets, but being a little obsessed and vulnerable to your ideas isn't that bad a thing.
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