October 18, 2019
I look over the water and I see my reflection. A girl who has my eyes, and my ears and faintly resembles the face of me, between the waves on the surface of the ocean. When I bend left, the reflection bends right with me, when I close my eyes she's gone, when I open them and she smiles with me. This should be me I can tell, but then again, catching her in my unawares, puts me off-guard; that face almost alien to me. It could've been anyone there, anyone who I could've missed in a crowd. This has been a strange year in my life. My perception of time is warped. Seems like just yesterday, when I landed in this city, and things still feel quite new. And yet I know it's been a long long year, full of endless days I can't recall. Once I sit down and think harder, so many happenings in between. These standalone memories one after the other is how I know time has passed. Sooner or later I'm going to lose this chronological order and events will just appear and disappear between the tides of emotions. Time IS WARPED and so am I...In the start, I thought knew that girl whose reflection I just passed by, but here and now this girl feels very unlike me. When I thought I'd turn left, she turned right, and sometimes acts differently when the days are bright; couldn't have imagined all these emotions that I feel. Bring her back to the same juncture and her actions would be obscure to me. She doesn't want the same things now, I'd thought I'd want, and longs for futures that seem so far lost. This reflection is me, but who is it underneath. Is this really me? 20,000 leagues under the sea.
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