October 9, 2018
Every time you open up to somebody new, their face becomes a bit cautious like you're about to dismantle a grenade in front of them. It's the same reflex animals show when they sight danger. More so when they're sober (cos there is a fake gate pass of an excuse on alcohol). You know it when you get the signal "Dude, stop talking and get your shit together" or "This is more than I signed up for"; you just feel that its time to change things back to the lighter note of "I binged on this Netflix series and you should too" or some other form of that shallow. Then there are other types of people, who make your nuanced thoughts about something that they did and feel like they need to justify themselves of a crime you didn't accuse them of. A DRAMA label is put on your baggage, way too hurriedly because the officer checking wanted to be extra cautious... I know I can't complain about people being emotionally closed, but I am just the same. The last time someone wanted to talk about their heartbreak, I gave them objective advice; the second time, I tested my patience; and the third time I wanted them to get back together instead and listen to the point I made on day one (really!). And I know they were emotionally hurting, but I'm guilty because I didn't sign up for this stuff up with them, I signed up with my inner circle. I put a NEEDY label on her baggage too soon. I shouldn't feel upset when people feel emotionally unavailable for a random person's emotional baggage of suppressed emotions. As a society we don't reward a display of emotions; and by reward I don't mean like a standing ovation for sharing random details that make you feel certain things, I mean a bit of empathy, a bit of reconciliation, a bit of maybe let ur guard down too and get off your high horse of adulthood. We maintain our stoicism about things and not be vulnerable! We don't show rage anymore, even though we're hurt. //Linger on it for a second and scroll past. We're all reduced to a baggage of emotions, coz we keep looking for people to sign up that charter for you to unload. It used all good till back in the day, till you realise that the subscribers 'unsubscribed'; everyone is emotionally distant now.
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