believe love has the power to ruin / rot in bed unmoving / engage in intimacy as self harm / lie crumpled in the bathtub until the water runs over / form an attachment to your mentor at work / take naps at your desk / cut your face open because you think it will help you find love / send messages you regret / attempt to join a cult / hit the self destruct button / cry in hotel rooms until snot drips from your chin / lose your job in your grief / move home to a battlefield / tell bedtime stories to your sadness / develop a social media addiction / sleep with your feed pressed to your face till your breath fogs up the screen / shave your head clean / film your face at strange angles and scream at what you find / become intimate with your notes app / develop a nyquil addiction / run into bad actors until your immune system begins to learn / scroll through their entire following on ig / run away into hermit spaces / actually join a cult / lose friendships over boundaries / develop a fear of touch / forget to drink water / engage in conversations with your rice cooker / stalk your way to her best friend's ex's partner's venmo profile [*] / spend a winter as a groundhog / find religion over coffee / lose religion over coffee / suppress a craving for domesticity / reskin your body / convince yourself you are aromantic / spend too much time researching plastic surgeons / change your name and your hobbies every week / develop a fear of your reflection / make friends with the ghosts in your brain / forget how to perform intimacy / fetishize your loneliness / move to a ghost town / spend a summer as a sea anemone / dramatize the grief of victimization / turn people into hyperfixations / get a jumpscare from your reddit search history / wake up with blue lipstick and a new tattoo / private and unprivate your playlists / invent a fictional drug / write fanfiction about yourself and leave hate comments under a pseudonym / spend so long method acting you forget yourself / create lists of cancelled people / cradle a friend on shrooms and find self-healing in the act / tell your story to people who are not sure how to listen / take drugs at cuddle parties and observe stiffly from a corner / read about love in concept / read about love in fanfic / intellectualize your desire until you are left with the husk of it / make paracosms with friends / become a cult leader / attempt to void your longing / romanticize the idea of reinvention / try on different sexualities / live as an ascetic for a month / collect strange bits of shrubbery / fall for a straight best friend / laugh a little easier / become convinced of psychic powers / spend a spring as yourself / let your hair grow / craft fictional love interests for friends / find joy in consistency / microdose on love / recoil from the depth of your hatred / find friendship in healing / use journalling as hypnosis / fall apart at any act of kindness / fall apart at any degree of touch / tell your story to people who listen / hover over the unfollow button / build blanket forts with loved ones / listen to phoebe bridgers on repeat / listen to between friends on repeat / surrender to your softness / press the unfollow button / rewatch comfort amvs on youtube / forget the enormity of your pain / hug all your friends / believe love has the power to heal / repeat? /
[*] sorry _______ for the exposé pls forgive me
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