No Design. Much Emotion - 100 Days of Design, Writing & Emotions

Design

Very little happened in my world of design today. I want to keep the daily writing honest because I want it to be an accurate reflection of the making and learning journey. So, while I'm tempted to go into my notes from yesterday and write up a design lesson, I won't.



Instead, emotions were the focus of the day.



The only product design related work I did today was to open my W.I.P MVP portfolio, write copy and upload a mock up.



Instead, here's an interesting design question I'm chewing on:

How can I design digital products that grow?



The question is inspired by the phenomenal Neri Oxman whose works at the intersection of art, design, engineering and science. Neri's works with materials that grow. Literally. Lab enhanced biological materials that morph, respond to temperature and grow like every other part of nature.





Neri's designs are inspired by nature. She points out that current design thinking is a direct result of the industrial revolution: assembly lines and parts. When nature designs, it doesn't use assembly, it uses growth. Neri is exploring design that is aligned with nature's approach.



Deeply inspired, I find myself thinking, how can I design products, albeit non-physical products, that also draw from nature? What would that look like?



I'll leave you with a great quote from Neri (can you tell I'm in love?)



I love a good verb. In fact, I think all nouns should be verbs including ‘naturing’ as opposed to 'nature'. How can we nature this building into being?



Emotions

I wonder if there'll come a time when heavily emotional events won't knock the flow of my day. For now, emotions effect my body, mind and productivity.



Short story:

The beginning of lock-down was the most peaceful I'd felt since moving to London. The peace lasted weeks. In fact, it lasted until I had a clear goal: transitioning into product design.



Because of the way I'm wired, psychologically at-least, I can become obsessive about the goals I set. The need to achieve them eclipses everything. With that need arises intense perfectionism, insecurity, arrogance and overwhelm. It's a heady mix.



Once I'd set the goal, I felt as if I was walking through a psychological minefield. Sitting to work on my portfolio would trigger large emotional re-actions that were mildly destructive. It's strange to describe to others how unbalancing creative work can be for me.



After one or two burn-outs, I began to re-balance and instil better habits: drop crippling perfectionism, start where I was and learn to take breaks. Slowly, working on the portfolio became easier. There was less avoidance and less violent self-discipline. There was also a healthy acceptance of the reality that I wasn't yet as good as I wanted to be. And that was OK. Suckyness is temporary.



My feelings began to balance.



Over the last weeks, as I slowly recovered psychologically, life started to say, ‘hey, what's good?'



Day after day, I was confronted with external life events that tested my limits. I'd been joking with my friends that I was blessed during quarantine because the only issues I faced existed inside my mind. Guess that joke ended.

Today was, as they say, the straw that broke the camel's back. I had a situation happen and crumbled. For the second time in my adult life, I called my mum and cried. Ugly sobbed. I felt defeated for the first time. Somewhat incapable of managing it all. I felt as if I'd poured so much energy and effort yet I couldn't see the results.



Today

I feel better now. Calmer. Tired. I'm ready for hibernation. A hibernation that lasts until the world completes its metamorphosis.



And that my friends is why I haven't designed as much as I'd like to today. Tomorrow, we go again.