M asks me this beautiful question: what are the top 3 qualities you look for in a person/friends/partner?
Instead of qualities I find myself thinking of specific people. I think of the way one of my friends and I read quietly in the grass, our thoughts collecting and dispersing on the walk home. Or the way another friend's presence softens the edges of everything negative and terrible and ugly, who opens the window often to let the light in. Or the person who never fails to be the antidote to my impulsivity with their calmness, their emotional consistency. I say my three things are self awareness, thoughtfulness, passion/ambition. Every single person close to me has all three and more.
I think the most important questions we ask ourselves circle back to people you love and why, how to love them better, and how to let them love you back.