Being a “gifted kid" in the past was a great help at some point, but now? I honestly consider it a hindrance. Sure, I never had to worry about whether or not I'd pass a class. I automatically got validation from my parents and teachers. But I don't think I was able to equip myself with certain life skills - namely, dealing with failure.
As a kid, whenever I tried something new I was good at it instantly. Math, art, science, writing, history - you name it. Even up to now I still find myself falling back into that mindset. I end up having to constantly remind myself that hey, you actually have to put in time and effort to get better at stuff. And you can't do it all.
Being gifted also made me extremely sensitive to criticism. Anything other than absolute praise, I took as a personal attack. I was always so hungry for attention and acknowledgement; perfection was the baseline I set for myself. And that wasn't good at all.
Life is messy and full of failure. If you've never made a mistake, chances are your life's kinda boring! Or worse, even unhappy. Being a gifted kid didn't prepare me for life's ups and downs. I was so used to everything going my way.
I admit that I was floundering during college. For the first time in my life, there wasn't a set standard that I could measure myself to. People stood out not just by performing academically, but by bagging internships, excelling in org work, or even simply reinventing themselves. "Success" was defined in so many different ways, I got overwhelmed. Where did I stand, and more importantly, how was I supposed to feel about myself? I based my self-worth on how well I did compared to my peers.
After working on myself for a while, I realized what the problem was: not that I wasn't excelling, but that I was comparing myself to others in the first place. We're human beings, and our worth can't be quantified. To base your self-worth on your performance in comparison to other people is ultimately handing over control of your life to them. People, more often than not, are constantly working to improve themselves, so if you pressure yourself to be better than them, you'll find yourself trapped in an endless rat race. Doesn't that sound tiring?
I don't profess to knowing everything about this topic. I'm on my own journey to accepting myself, and that probably won't ever be complete. We are works in progress, and the sooner we give ourselves a break, the better. Here's to running at our own pace.
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