I just found great posts on State of UX by Debbie Levitt, intensifying ﻿my desire to explore other career options, thus quoting her absolute golden sayings while adding my own cents to it:

Make sure that UX is burning in your blood. If you are not absolutely driven to do this, you will burn out fast. Even driven people are burning out. 

This is a high-conflict job, and people often question why they are doing it

. If you are aware of what UX jobs are really like, and it is your life calling to do this (like it is for me), then keep trying to break into UX. 

If UX is not burning in your blood, it’s a great time to figure out what is, and work towards that career

I am questioning myself why I'm doing it, especially for a product where its business value drastically contrast with the value I hold, and that I faintly felt rewarded for what I deliver over the past years﻿.

With most project team treating UX as Product's Designer—order taker, just make nice screens, sit quietly in workshops, don’t point out what we’re doing wrong, don’t challenge the status quo—I still think at this point in life, exploring other options and investing in a higher education would do me best. 

We brought in authors, trainers, and consultants who told companies to do more design thinking, more design sprints, or give everybody a few hours of training so they can “do the UX.” We trained people that if they just make a customer journey map, they will have empathy and solve everybody’s problems.

This. Is there any other way to better put this into words?

I'm a translator who was brought into UX, thinking I've landed my dream job. And I recently found out most UX in my function (who were copywriters, script writers, marketeers, etc.) were also someone new to the UX trying to “do the UX” without actually “know the UX” (not even myself).

I had several burn-outs stem from my unqualified, lack-of-practical-UX-knowledge awareness, but I am being expected by 'everyone' to “decide" and “advocate” in place of user per my job title. I had less self-doubt when I was translating, though, because it was pretty clear to me when my colleagues knew what they were doing, and I knew, to some extent, what I was doing. With UX, aside from getting buy-ins and writing words based on one's own understanding, I 

 know what other things should've been done, but I don't know how.

I mean, I'm pretty much moved on from diving any deeper into this field, but I'm only writing here because my masters application result hasn't been announced. 

And I'm quite stress for either way in turns out: 

1) what to do once it's been confirmed I'm going to be 

2) what to do if I don't get admitted to the course, and what excuse to use in order to quit my current job (because, let's face it, it doesn't make sense giving up a secure job when you don't have other financially secured options. Not that study abroad would be the most financially secured way of living, but it'd fit my need and is socially accepted, and is helpful in 

I'm looking to apply to other masters courses and possibly join a data sci bootcamp that should take 4-6 months to complete. I wish to occupy myself with ways to broaden my knowledge and career options (while my gf is away *sobs*), and admit to myself I shouldn't expect to learn skills I should be taken classes for with the job I currently have. My heart's already been broken a thousand times with this expectation. I'm ready to move on.