it's been four days since i have not received any assignment.
well, i helped a friend with her work and they'll pay me — but my point still stands; this is the longest i haven't been assigned a task from, like, 8 agencies i'm working with.
it's highkey putting me on edge.
so, i'm here writing something, in hope of producing something, as i'm highly poisoned by this toxic productivity under capitalism.
(not that this rant yields any income for me anyways)
i just like to put my recent reflections out here:
80g rice per meal will help me lose weight. i did it for three days. but yesterday we ate out and i think they served 300g of rice per dish. i ate it all, can't stand left overs.
humility is important. it's now my favourite word, and i endorse a tweet saying "personal growth rarely comes from acquiring new knowledge and always from periods of intense humility". i was saying, in my head, how humbling this experience has been for me. i guess this was one of the periods of intense humility in my life, and i'm forever grateful.
i admit i feel a bit sad not pursuing clinical linguistics though i've been accepted. but it's not like i regret or that i think i picked a wrong path. i think i've made up my mind and this is a legit path i'm taking, so, let's see what's up ahead.
there are, really, people who are dense, no matter their age or how much they've experienced. this is not coming from a hateful place, just that i got reminded about this more recently.
i also tried to be as patient as possible. i think i learned how to be kind, but deep down i'm quite impatient and doesn't quite understand how come people don't get something as quickly as i can, which is toxic (lol). maybe that's why i'm afraid of being a teacher, as i might not be able to hide it well given i'm doing the teaching patiently for a whole 40 hours a week. but, we'll see.
academic world is just a a closed-off echo-chamber confining to its own circles. this is from one of the substack posts i read today
gosh apologies for the typos but i can't edit that pervious bullet without crashing the page
earning money is great but it's best to save them, too. i'm surrounded by people working while one of them could save just as much as another working 3x less. be wise with your spending.
“perfectionism doesn't lead anywhere” even the greatest creators don't see their creation as perfect. but it's so great. better put it out there first, they often say.
i feel like i'm studying all the systems and frameworks (psych, linguistics) but there's so much more — that's why i feel like my love towards socio- things feels lacking, because i'm a dull ignorant where i overlook history and such.
people notice things in the book too, they just don't know the fancy words for it. and you really don't need to learn all these jargons to observe and understand the ways things are, i think.
tech people seems so bleak to me now and i know i despite the industry (sorry). i still envision myself being able to tech enough to make helpful contribution, alas posts about AI, its hype, along with people losing jobs because of it quite enraged me.
simple dialogues in a 8-bit game is enough to make me whimper
baking in itself isn't that hard, coming up with recipes are.
don't response to text right away if you don't feel like it. wait a bit and reply when you're in a better mood. impressions last, make sure to leave a good one. especially to ones that make effort to talk to you.
being a migrant isn't all hopes and dreams. never was, never will.
it's not the end of the world if life doesn't go as planned.
we all deserve slow days — just fucking doomscroll or something.
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