"Choose not to be harmed— and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed— and you haven't been."
Although there are many parts of Stoic philosophy I don't agree with, this quote by Marcus Aurelius is something that has become increasingly resonant over time.
Lately I've been looking at the scenarios playing out in my surroundings as just that: things that are happening around me. It's a very cool departure from looking at things with value judgments.
Things like standing in a long line, being caught in the rain, or finding out that a friend has revealed information I asked to be kept secret become occurrences that can't touch me.
This way of looking at the world is more empowering. If my entire goal in life is to be happy, knowing that I can be happy no matter what someone else does gives me full autonomy over my life condition.
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Lately I've also been entertaining the idea that self-sufficiency leads to more fulfilling relationships, not less. The hypothesis: if you are totally and entirely happy with yourself, you seek out others not because you need their company, but because you want their company.
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