The Best Birthday Gift

In 2017, the year I turned 22, I was embroiled in a period of intense self-discovery that was, at times, quite painful. For my birthday that year, I asked my friends to give me gifts in the form of recommendations.





Somebody recently reminded me of the article I wrote that summarized the responses I received. I revisited the raw responses today — from 41 distinct people — and I felt the same flood of gratitude and inspiration I did two and a half years ago.



I think the responses I got were a reflection of the person I was and the things I cared about at the time, as much as they were gifts from people who knew and respected me.



The wonderful people who wrote to me were my friends, mentors, and acquaintances. They saw the sides of me that I was willing to show them at the time. Now, with the gift of hindsight, I understand that I was holding myself back from fully expressing myself to these people then. But reaching out with this post was a step towards vulnerability and the potential for strengthened connections. I opened a channel for people to share pieces of themselves with me that they ordinarily wouldn't have, something I want to continue to bring into the world.



In the last two and a half years, I wish I had revisited this compilation more — in every moment of hardship, self loathing, or frustration.



For instance, someone had thought to send me The Egg, a brilliant short story that I didn't comprehend fully at the time. Since then, I've developed layers of understanding towards the concept of the unity of all human consciousness.

Someone else wrote to me a heartfelt story about their father, and how an article I'd written about burnout had "helped [her] get through a difficult and lonely summer internship in the U.S, away from family and friends."



Nowadays, I try my best to always put myself first. Like [my dad], you will always be an inspiration for me. Keep sharing your stories. :)



Someone else just wrote,



You will get better. Fuck off imposter syndrome, no one expects you to know everything walking in.



I received a link to this Quora post, and this graphic on maturity.



Another:



Hope you had an amazing birthday, this is a fantastic idea. Haven't talked in a while but from your updates it seems like life is going great for you. Hope it is :) Take care!



What I didn't know then was that I was about to enter one of the most creative and productive periods of my life. I feel like connecting to these people through their favourite things was one of the catalysts for this change. At the least, it reminded me of one of my favourite parts of life: the ability to understand others, to soak in their musings, and to share the things that bring us joy.