My life has consisted of people coming and going, and I started noticing how, as I grew up, it's harder to be a complete stranger to someone than to be friends. In contrast to the saying "even in a crowd, you are alone inside your own head", I've always sought the bonds and connections I would make with others. The friendships and the romantic relationships; I used the memories gained from those in my past to reflect and grow. As I got older, their faces have now become a distant and blurry image that taught me so much, and yet ironically, I won't forget.
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As a child, my parents focused on my academic success, where I was subject to my multiplication table. I had math books, and hours upon hours each weekend, I would have to finish each chapter as I longed for some weekend cartoons or soccer with friends. It became my life, and I wasn't aware that it was passing me by until I reached my teens.
I spent so much time believing that success comes from academics and higher education, and it roped me away from an extent of my childhood. Being mindful of this fact, I made a conscious effort to decide on my own the path I would next choose in high school. It led me towards the arts, and I began surrounding myself with people with similar interests.
Because of this, the new audience that I was with began to bring out a new side of me. I bonded over the aesthetics of painting and art history with classmates, had meaningless debates about the smell of wet grass with carpool friends, and adventured the new surroundings around me with blurry faces close to my heart.
One taught me about how every little thing will be okay, and another taught me the flaws I have and would impose onto others. Over the course of high school until where I am now, I bonded with those types of individuals who taught me so much about myself and continue to. The situations and thoughts that movies portray, I laughed and went along with, but once I actually experienced it, became a reality that I had to endure.
If they taught me a lot, then what makes them blurry faces?
In actuality, my memories of those people in my past are as clear as day. The feelings and experiences I've had with them are an accumulation that's made me who I am now. They are in my past with no permanent abodement, and remain that way. To me, they served as a means to find parts of myself at that point in time, and cease to have a meaning in my current reality. Maybe the future has their faces show up again in my life, but for now, they are the blurry faces that I'll continue to remember.
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